"Maybe it’s the sum of a million coincidences we don’t quite control, that brings us to a particular place at a particular time…  Or maybe it’s the choices we make, the actions we take...  If there’s one thing I’ve learned in 85 years.  It’s that what we want, it doesn’t always matter…  What we want doesn’t always matter, but then again, sometimes it’s all that does."

  • Mick St. John is a captivating, charming and immortal private investigator from Los Angeles, who defies the traditional blood-sucking norms of his vampire tendencies by using his wit and powerful supernatural abilities to help the living. In a life-altering twist of fate, Mick was "bitten" 60 years ago by his new bride, the seductive Coraline. Forever 30 years of age, Mick's as handsome and charismatic as the day he was "turned," and he eschews others of his kind who view humans only as a source of nourishment. With only a handful of like-minded confidantes for company, including the eternally young, wealthy and mischievous Josef, a hedge fund trader who relishes his uniqueness, Mick fills his infinite days protecting the living. One night years ago, a single act of kindness changed Mick when he saved a young girl's life, making him want to be a better vampire. Now their paths cross again and Mick develops a distinctive bond with Beth Turner, who has grown into a beautiful, ambitious Internet investigative reporter. Reconnecting with her unleashes feelings Mick knows he can't pursue without exposing that part of him that would make him a monster in Beth's eyes. As Mick lives between two realities, fighting his adversaries among the undead and falling in love, he discovers the mysteries and pleasures that a valuable life has to offer.

Episode Recaps & Favorite Quotes
No Such Thing as Vampires Out of the Past Dr. Feelgood
Fever Arrested Development B.C.
The Ringer 12:04am Fleur De Lis
Sleeping Beauty Love Lasts Forever The Mortal Cure
Fated To Pretend Click What's Left Behind
Sonata    

 
 
 

Season 1: Episode 16: Sonata

 

A star collegiate athlete  is killed by a vampire in the heat of passion, causing Mick and Beth to face the ultimate consequences of a vampire-human relationship.   Mick tracks down the culprit,  but not before the police arrive to take them into custody. The culprit threatens to expose the vampire community if Mick doesn't find a way out. This puts Mick and Josef's secret identities in jeopardy, forcing them to join forces with the other vampires in Los Angeles to keep their secret safe.            Original Air Date: 16 May 2008

 

Mick: I wasn't feeding on Simone, okay? It wasn't a big deal.
Beth: Then why do I feel like I walked in on you two making out?
Mick: We were not making out. I only wanna make out with you.
Beth: Yeah, but you don't wanna drink my blood.
Mick: Whoa! You want me to drink your blood? Where is this coming from?
Beth: No, I ... I don't ... It's just that when you were dying in the desert and you fed on me, you made it seem like it was a big deal and now you're saying it's not. So please forgive me for being a little confused.

Beth: Do you realize this is our fourth official date?
Mick: Define official.
Beth: Any outing that doesn't involve dead bodies.
Mick: You are such a romantic, you know that?
 

Josef: Mick's not usually the jealous type.
Beth: Speaking of jealous. (watching Mick and Simone talking)
Josef: Don't worry, Mick isn't suicidal enough to hit on my date.
Beth: Your date? Let me guess. She was born to Hungarian Aristocracy in 1758. Danced Swan Lake with the Bolshoi Ballet, before you turned her.
Josef: Actually Simone was born in Recita. '80. And nobody turned her.
Beth: Your girlfriend's human?
Josef: She's not my girlfriend. She's one of my lawyers. Quite an up-and-comer. And a very willing source of refreshment.

Mick: (voice over) Josef Kostan celebrated as a civic-minded entrepreneur. Definitely worth putting the monkey suit on for. And of course, there are fringe benefits. (looks at Beth) Like spending the evening with Beth.

(Beth walks in and sees Mick drinking Simone's blood)
Simone: We should go.
Josef: But this is so awkward ... I love awkward.

Lisa: (about Dominic) We hooked up once or twice. I'm into jocks this semester.
Mick: Oh. So how long you been in college?
Lisa: Forty years or so. It's the perfect life for a vamp. Nobody notices when you sleep all day, and there's a constant rotation of frat boys too drunk to know when a hickey ... isn't a hickey.
Mick: No one notices the puncture marks on the neck?
Lisa: That's not the artery I go for.

Lisa: You must be Mick. How have we not met before?
Mick: It's a cruel world.

Guillermo: Trouble with Beth?
Mick: She thinks I fed on Josef's freshie.
Guillermo: So? It's not like she's volunteering.
Mick: I don't want her to volunteer.
Guillermo: Why not?
Mick: Well, 'cause I don't.
Guillermo: I'm just sayin'. Vampire's got needs.
Mick: Why do I even talk to you about this stuff? You've obviously blocked out all memories of what human women are like.
Guillermo: Yeah, well, I need all available brainpower to figure out vampire women.

Mick: I know that this isn't easy for you to understand.
Beth: Look, you've been saying for months now that things can't work between us, that we live in different worlds, and I didn't want to hear you but maybe you're right. You can't come back to my world and I'm not ready to join yours.
Mick: Wait, you think that that's what this is about? You think I'm going to want to turn you?
Beth: Wouldn't you? Eventually? What happens when I start to get old? Maybe then I'd want it too. I don't ever want to have to make that decision. Emma and Jackson made me realize that you were right. I don't think I can do this anymore. (Mick leaves)

Mick: You want to know what Emma and Jackson made me realize? That you were right. You were right all along. This isn't about being a vampire or a human. This is about us. How we feel about one another. Right here, right now.
Beth: The night that we first met, or met again, whatever. What was I wearing?
Mick: Blue jeans, white striped shirt, cream jacket.
Beth: What about my shoes?
Mick: You were barefoot.
Beth: How can you remember that?
Mick: Because I love you. (They kiss and the door closes.)

Beth: This is great. I feel like I'm back at my high school prom!
Josef: You know, prom wasn't really big back in the 1700's. High school, either. The plague. The plague was big.

Mick: (voice over) I've spent the past 55 years trying to close the door on forever, but I can't anymore. I can't close the door on Beth. (edit)

Mick: I just got hit in the face with the sacred ass paddle.
Beth: (shrugs) Karma.

 
 

 

 

Season 1: Episode 15: What's Left Behind

 

 

When a child is kidnapped, Mick gets involved because the boy is the grandson of one of Mick’s lovers in WWII – when he was human – and could possibly be his grandson. ADA Talbot asks the newly unemployed Beth to work with him because she covered two similar crimes when she worked for Buzzwire and they believe the three kidnappings are connected. We learn more about Mick's life as a human during WWII and some friends he left behind. Beth ends up joining the DA's office as a civilian investigator.  Original Air Date: 9 May 2008

Ben: How did you know about the coal chute?
Mick: I grew up in a house like this.
Ben: Here in L.A.?
Mick: Yeah.
Ben: And what school did you go to?
Mick: You investigating me now?
Ben: Depends, you got something to hide?
Mick: No, not anymore. The paparazzi exposed my deepest secrets. Shoe size: ten and a half, favorite color: blue.
Beth: Boxers, not briefs. How did we get on to this delightful subject?
Ben: We digressed.

Mick: About what Josef said ...
Beth: What? That we can't have a baby?
Mick: You wanna have my baby?
Beth: What do you think of Elliot for a boy? ... I'm kidding! Relax. But I mean children are a part of most normal human relationships.
Mick: Our relationship being neither normal nor human. But Josef was right vampires can't have kids, so ... I mean if it's a deal breaker ...
Beth: Oh, whoa whoa. I think we're getting ahead of ourselves. I mean we haven't even slept with each other yet. It may not be any good. (They smile at each other)

Mick: Ben? Wow. (laughs) Should I be jealous?
Beth: Of course. Even if I have no romantic interest in him, your jealousy makes me feel desirable.

Mick: So are we going to find your designers at the bottom of the tar pits?
Josef: Mick. Please. I don't have the energy to kill everyone that pisses me off. I have to hire some people.

 

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Mick St. John enters the heightened world of celebrity when he’s hired by a young and famous actress, Tierney Tate. Tierney is being hounded by paparazzi who somehow seem to have access to her schedule. When she’s murdered, Mick makes it his mission to find her killer. Meanwhile, Beth has a new boss at Buzzwire, who cares more about scooping other nets, than the facts. Because of her friendship with Mick, who is reported to be Tierney’s new boyfriend, she gets assigned the case of covering Tierney and her new movie’s apparent curse. The two work together interviewing suspects, and, as they learn more about Tierney’s complex life, they discover the killer’s identity. After a mutual moment of mistaken jealousy (Mick is with Tierney, Beth with ADA Talbott), Mick and Beth also discuss the prospect of dating each other. Original Air Date: 2 May 2008

Mick: You should probably stay here then. With me.
Beth: Wow. From dating to speed-dating.
Mick: No I don't mean with me, with me, I just-- I can't drive you, and my couch is comfortable ... and besides, I sleep in my freezer upstairs.
Beth: Okay. Well ... better safe than sorry.
Mick: And, you know, if you need anything, I'm just right upstairs, anyway.
Beth: In your freezer.
Mick: ... Yeah.

Beth: You are going to get sooo tired of watching me eat.
Mick: I hope so.  

Mick: Look, I've been meaning to call you about the other night.
Beth: The other night when you kissed me.
Mick: So, uh, how do you wanna do this?
Beth: It's called dating.
Mick: Right. We go out, get to know each other.
Beth: You've known me since I was four.
Mick: Okay, it's weird when you say it like that.

Mick: Actually, I haven't exactly been in a romantic relationship with a human since I became a vampire.
Beth: What? You mean, you haven't ... ?
Mick: Not with a human.
Beth: Wow.
Mick: It's not like you've slept with a vampire!
Beth: Maybe once in college but I was really drunk ...

Mick: Okaaay. This is a one way street.
Tierney: So? I'm going one way.
Mick: Yeah, the wrong way.

Mick: (in a speeding car) Okay, you can't die. You can't die. You can't die.

Tierney: Go talk to your friend.
Mick: What friend?
Tierney: I saw you with her at lunch.
Mick: Yes, she's ah (pauses). I think we're dating.
Tierney: You think?
Mick: Well it's complicated.
Tierney: Can you be yourself with her?
Mick: Mostly, yeah.
Tierney: Then uncomplicate it.

Josef: Now, this Tierney girl --
Mick: Yes, I know, I know. She's a celebrity and, you're concerned that I'm endangering myself with this kind of public exposure. But don't worry Dad, I'll ... I'll be careful.
Josef: Don't call me that.
Mick: Well you did turn me ...
Josef: Re-turned you! Re-turned. And you were going to become a vampire again anyway. I'm not your sire.
Mick: Kind of my step-sire though ...
Josef: No!

 

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Mick is enjoying his life as a human: he can eat, go to the beach, sleep in a bed. He's also working to repair his relationship with Beth, and date her. When Beth's boss at Buzzwire is killed, Mick works with Beth to help find the killer, unfortunately, a new ADA thinks their involvement is a hindrance, not a help. After some clever research, they figure out who the killer is, but before they can act, Beth and the new ADA are kidnapped. The killer is a vampire and Mick realizes that he won't be able to save Beth, unless he has Josef turn him back into a vampire.                                  Original Air Date: 25 April 2008

Mick: (as a human) I'm actually gonna have to chase this guy? ... Crap.

Beth: I don't know what to say about what you did for me. What you gave up. Part of you must hate me.
Mick: I could never hate you.
Beth: Yeah, but you're back to being a vampire.
Mick: I don't have any regrets. Okay?
Beth: None? Yeah, this isn't exactly how I pictured our date either.
Mick: What do you mean?
Beth: You know what I mean. I'm human, you're a vampire. We're right back where we started.
Mick: I just - I just don't want you to get hurt.
Beth: Maybe you're afraid of getting hurt. I know what it's like to lose people you love. But it's part of life.
Mick: Relationships between humans and vampires-
Beth: Are difficult, dangerous, and complicated. I know, you told me. If you hadn't of been a vampire, I'd have died today, I'd have died 23 years ago. Being a vampire isn't all you are. It's not what's keeping us apart. It's just you. (Mick kisses Beth)

Mick: At the funeral, you were wearing his ring.
Beth: Yes. Yes I was. But um, I realized that even if he had proposed to me, I wouldn't have been able to say yes.
Mick: Why not?
Beth: There's someone else. Has been for awhile. I care about him a lot. And ... I think it's time he figured out what he's gonna do about it.

Bonnie: Are you going to jump, too?
Mick: I'd rather not. I've never even had a Krispy Kreme donut.

Mick: You wanna come over to my place for dinner tonight? I've uh, figured out how to work the oven.
Beth: You're gonna cook me dinner?
Mick: Yeah I'm gonna try.
Beth: Are you asking me out on a date?
Mick: Isn't that what humans do?

Mick: (about his relationship with Beth) Just gimme a chance to figure it out.
Beth: Just don't take too long. You may have forever, but I don't. 

Josef: (appearing out of nowhere) What are you doing?
Mick: Don't do that!
Josef: What? Use my crafty vampire abilities to sneak up on you?

Mick: Beth's editor Maureen Williams was killed a few hours ago.
Josef: (to Beth) I'm sorry. Am I a suspect? (Beth gives him a look.) Cool. It's like roleplaying without the leather.

Mick: Why are you here?
Josef: Guillermo called me, said you were about to do something extremely stupid, I said: "Wait, that can't be the Mick that I know!"

Mick: (voiceover) It's been 55 years since I've slept in a bed. Felt the softness and warmth of pillows and blankets. Do I miss sleeping in an industrial freezer? Would you?

Beth: When was the last time you had a donut?
Mick: 1952.
Beth: Two words, Krispy Kreme.

Mick: (asking Josef to turn him) You think this is easy for me? This ... is not easy. Okay? I don't have a choice.
Josef: What you're asking me to do is-
Mick: Listen to me! Alright? He has Beth. He has my Beth. So please, please brother.
Josef: Mick. Forgive me.

Beth: (to Mick) Breaking and entering was much more fun when you were a vampire. It's a shame you can't still do that sexy vampire jumping thing.
Mick: Yeah, well the jumping thing was kinda tied to the whole blood sucking thing.

 

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After Beth's life is threatened, Josh decides to back down from prosecuting a drug lord. But when Beth insists he proceed, Josh goes forward with his case and the drug lord makes an attempt on Beth's life. Fortunately, Beth is with Mick as they research the blood Mick took from Coraline, and she isn't harmed. In a fury, the gang leader goes after Josh, kidnapping him. Mick and Beth pursue them, but Josh is critically wounded during the rescue attempt. Mick and Beth rush Josh to the hospital, but it's clear he's not going to make it. Beth begs Mick to turn Josh into a vampire in order to save him. When Mick refuses, Beth is furious and despondent over his decision. Original Air Date: 11 January 2008

Mick: (voiceover, while trying to save Josh) All the blood is taking its toll on Beth ... it's the sunlight that's taking its toll on me.

(about turning Josh)
Beth: You can save him.
Mick: No, I can't do that.
Beth: Yes, you can. Turn him, he'll live.
Mick: That's not living, Beth.
Beth: Save him, please, for me. Please!
Mick: He is human, Beth, okay? This is what happens. 

Mick: I know you're angry that I didn't turn Josh, but I didn't kill him. Huerta killed him. Tejada killed him. Beth, his job killed him. You can't blame me for him being gone. Turning someone into a vampire isn't saving a life, it's taking one.
Beth: Because it's such a curse. I know, you tell me all the time.
Mick: You don't know. Beth, how could you know?
Beth: If you hate what you are so much, then why do you go on living?
Mick: (voiceover) You make me want to.
Mick: I'm not really sure ... I'm not really sure. I did a lot of bad things after I was turned, Beth. Things you could never imagine. Things I carry tremendous amounts of guilt about ... I want make up for them. (pauses) Beth.
Beth: I just can't stop thinking about him. If, if you'd have done it, he'd still be here. What if it were me lying there instead of Josh, seconds before death? Would you have saved me? Would you have saved me?
Mick: I would have done the same thing.
Mick: (voiceover) She asked me something I've asked myself over and over again. The truth is, I don't know what I would do. What I do know is, at the end of the day, not a lot separates life and death. Only one thing ... eternity.

Mick: (voiceover) The rest of the city goes to sleep and I've just woken up. One of the many attributes that attach a vampire to a life of solitude. There are questions I ask myself that I just don't know how to answer. All these questions surround one uncertainty: How does an immortal handle mortal feelings?

Beth: So why did you take Coraline's blood?
Mick: Answers. I think it might be the key to the cure.
Beth: You really hate being a vampire, don't you?
Mick: Well, hate is a strong word. So yeah, that works.

Beth: It can't be all that bad to live forever. I mean, you'll see things when I'm gone, when everybody is gone, that we can't even imagine now.
Mick: Like what?
Beth: Car's that can fly, a diet soda that doesn't suck.
Mick: Yeah, but it's not so fun to experience things alone.
Beth: So take a vampire wife, then.
Mick: Tried that one. Didn't work out so well.

Mick: (voiceover) And then there's the part in every bar scene where the bartender pulls out a shotgun.

 

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Having been staked by Beth, Coraline/Morgan is unconscious in the hospital, barely alive. Mick and Beth are keeping quiet about how the patient sustained the highly unusual chest wound. Later, when Morgan is alone with the doctor, she wakens for a few moments and, when the doctor’s back is turned, bares her fangs. She is still a vampire, but her blood indicates that she’s human. Across town, a stranger breaks into Josef’s office and sets off a firebomb, but Josef manages to escape unharmed. Mick and Beth work together to find out who is trying to kill Josef. They learn that the hit man was hired by a wealthy, dying old man seeking revenge because Josef killed his daughter in 1955. Although Josef has been closemouthed about his relationship with the woman, he finally tells his tale. Josef fell in love with a human and tried to turn her so they could be together forever, but it didn't go right: instead of turning, she ended up in a coma. Josef has been keeping her alive and cared for, but lost in a coma, in a well-appointed New York apartment all these years. This is why Josef believes Mick and Beth can never work. Back at the hospital, the doctor sees Coraline’s heart monitor flatline, but when she runs to check her patient, she’s greeted by an empty bed, an empty room.   Original Air Date: 14 December 2007

Josef: All I'm saying is forever is a long time.

Mick: You don't care about yourself, can you at least care about not getting me killed?
Josef: Listen, I wasn't ..like... Look, I get lonely, you know that.
Mick: Yeah, I’m beginning to see why. 

Mick: (To Beth) Josef had enemies. But this, who could hate him this much?  

Maureen: (To Beth) Tracking says women 18 to 34 find you a little harsh.

Josef: (about Sarah) And for months, I thought I was keeping my secret from her, but then I discovered that she knew. She knew... And she didn't care. That was the happiest day of my life.
Beth: So you were in love with her.
Josef: I wasn't looking for it, believe me. The longer we were together, the more I began to think that the whole reason I became a vampire was... You know, so I could live long enough to meet her.

Beth: So Josef never mentioned any of this? Never told you about Sarah?
Mick: No. I knew he lived here in New York before he moved to Los Angeles. Vamps tend to move around. We can't stay in one spot for too long.
Beth: You have. You stayed in L.A.
Mick: I like the weather.

Beth: Where're you going?
Mick: New York. I have to stop Josef before he does something stupid.
Beth: I'm going with you.
Mick: Why?
Beth: Stop you from doing something stupid.

Mick: Josef's sense of justice is pretty much an eye for an eye.

Mick: (to Josef) You've already died once this week, isn't that enough?  

Mick: I'm gonna see if your hacker buddy Rider England can get me into their files.
Josef: He can't
Mick: Oh, he can't hack the military?
Josef: Oh, he can. He did. That's why he's on a sabbatical in South America right now.

Mick: You have to tell me how.
Coraline: How I survived the fire that you thought killed me?
Mick: How you became human.
Coraline: It always comes back to this. You're so desperate to be mortal again. To experience death for yourself. Why? It's Beth, isn't it? You think you love her.
Mick: This is not about Beth, okay?
Coraline: I came back for you. I became human for you. Doesn't that mean anything?
Mick: How, Coraline?
Coraline: For you.
Mick: You have to tell me how.

Beth: You really think there is some kind of a cure?
Mick: Coraline was a vampire for years. Now she's as human as you are. Something changed her back. And if she dies, I'll never know what that was.

Mick: (To Beth about Josef) I'm not even sure I know how to mourn him.
(Beth hugs Mick)
Mick: I need a drink.
Beth: Me too.

Josef: Are you gonna stand there all day or you gonna help me to find out who killed me.

Mick: This is just really hard for me. All of it. Coraline's in the hospital. Josef's dead.
Beth: I know he meant a lot to you.
Mick: I've outlived so many of my human friends you think I'd be used to losing people by now.
Beth: Yeah, but losing Josef is different.
Mick: He survived four hundred years. Four hundred years. He saw so much. So much history. He was history.

Coraline: You look like someone just died.
Mick: Someone did. It's Josef.
Coraline: Oh God. I remember introducing you two. You thought he was a pompous jerk. And he thought you weren't cut out to be a vampire. 

Mick: All these years Josef. You were ranting about how it can never work between us and humans.
Josef: Well, what happened to Sarah is proof that I'm right.
Mick: Josef Kostan in love? That proves that anything is possible.
Josef: Love can show you part of yourself that you never knew existed.
Mick: Or part that you thought you lost forever.

Josef: What are you using back there, barbecue tongs?
Mick: Would you hold still, I'm trying to get the second bullet. You know for a four hundred year old vampire you sure have a low threshold for pain.
Josef: Giving is different than receiving.

 

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Mick takes a case investigating whether the new young wife of wealthy businessman Richard Haggans is cheating on him. As kind of an apology, he offers Morgan the job of being his surveillance photographer, a job that comes with a hefty fee. As Mick and Morgan work together, Beth takes it upon herself to research Morgan's back-story. Now that she knows Mick's ex-wife, Coraline, was her kidnapper, Beth wants to know everything about her, including whether Coraline has found a cure and become human, returning to Mick's life as Morgan. Mick and Morgan discover that Haggans’ wife is having an affair with his son and that the pair are plotting to kill him. They manage to save Haggans just before his wife and son kill him. Meanwhile, Beth finds incontrovertible proof that Morgan is Coraline and is planning something. She races to Mick's apartment to tell him, only to find Morgan/Coraline coming out of his shower. Thinking Morgan and Mick have gotten together and that Morgan is a vampire, Beth stakes her, but Morgan starts bleeding to death.     Original Air Date: 23 November 2007
 

Mick: No, no. I'm fine. It's just a scalp laceration. They're always worse than they look.
Coraline: What?
Mick: Uh ... look ... look worse than they are. That's what I meant. 

Mick: Just one more question Mr. Haggans. You obviously don't trust your wife. Do you love her?
Richard Haggans: I own her Mr. St. John. That's all you need to know.

(Mick and Beth observe Morgan/Coraline)
Beth: How did she become a vampire?
Mick: Coraline was turned in the early 1700s in France. She was a courtesan.
Beth: Oh, she was a hooker.
Mick: No, more like a friend of the court.
Beth: She's still got the moves.

Mick: About what happened at the hotel ..
Coraline: Which part?
Mick: The kiss.
Coraline: That was nice, huh?
Mick: Well sure, but ..
Coraline: Don't be all weird. It's ... it doesn't mean anything.
Mick: Oh.

Beth: Well I'm so glad you guys are working so well together. Seems like you made quite the team.
Coraline: I was thinking maybe we could make this a permanent arrangement.
Mick: I tend to work alone.
Coraline: I mean there's gotta be something for Beth to do right? We gonna make it a threesome or something?

Coraline: You aren't blushing right now, but I think you are actually embarrassed. It's so cute. You are so old fashioned.
Mick: No I'm not.
Coraline: You weren't so shy when it was happening.

Beth: How is the case going?
Coraline: There is nothing like spending the afternoon cuddled up in a hotel room, watching family members have sex.
Beth: Huh!?
Mick: (stuttering) They are not even actually related biologically.

Coraline: Have you heard anything?
Mick: Not unless they're using deep breathing and moaning as code. Listen to this.
(Coraline and Mick listen via earphones to the moaning couple. They get closer and kiss)

 

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Season 1: Episode 08: 12:04 AM

 
 

Beth gets close to Audrey, a young woman who is the sole survivor of a brutal attack on her family when she was just 10 years old. They meet and bond at the killer's execution and, because of her own childhood experience of being kidnapped, Beth feels very protective. The killer's cult followers vow to avenge their leader's dying wish that those responsible for his execution also be put to death. When Audrey claims the killer called her after his execution, Beth asks Mick to investigate this possibility and to protect her. Mick learns that the executed killer was turned into a vampire right before his execution, which allowed him to survive the “fatal” injection and gives him the opportunity to fulfill his goal of killing everyone who put him in prison. One of those people is, of course, Audrey, and she and Beth hole up in Mick’s apartment, which has a beefed-up security system. While Mick is out, Beth snoops around and realizes that Mick was the mysterious man who saved her from her kidnapper when she was a child. She doesn’t yet realize that Coraline was the kidnapper. The killer vamp breaks into the apartment and goes after Audrey, but Beth gets in the way. Just as the vamp is about to dispatch her, Mick returns and decapitates him, saving Beth once again.   Original Air Date: 16 November 2007
 

(in Jerry Drake's office, Mick picks up the sword lying on the stand)
Jerry Drake: You don't want to touch that.
Mick: This feels real! Is this from that, um, Sword and Sandals thing that you did?

Mick: (voiceover) Unfortunately, all that fresh blood in the air...sometimes makes it hard to distinguish who's still here.
(Shepherd attacks from the shadows) 

Shepherd: Come on, two vampires and two lovely ladies-- in my day, we called that a party.
Mick: Yeah, well, I outgrew that phase.

(Beth and Audrey are discussing her kidnapping)
Audrey: Is that what you did when you said you learned to block out what happened to you?
Beth: Um sort of but I…I also had something to grab on to. Someone…the man who saved me, he was fearless. It was terrifying. But as long as I was in his arms, I knew I was safe.

Jerry Drake: So, Mr. St. John, my time is money. I know a lot of people say that, but I actually had my accountant run the numbers. (Looks at his watch) You’re ten grand in the hole.
Mick: Wow and me without my checkbook. 

(Mick is interrogating Shepherd's cult member in Beth's bathtub)
Shepherd's family member: I have rights!
Mick: You broke into a private home. I have the right to shoot you. I'm still considering that option!

Beth: I was kidnapped when I was 4. I don’t remember much, not faces. But I-I do have dreams…and, uh, flashes. Sometimes they can seem very real.
Audrey: So you keep reliving your past?
Beth: More like I block it out. It’s the only way I can keep sane.

Mick: If you guys get hungry—
Beth: (interrupting him) We’ll order in. 

Beth: (about Mick letting Audrey stay with Beth at his place) This is really nice of you.
Mick: Mi casa, su casa. That’s Spanish, by the way, for "Keep her out of my stuff."

Beth: (to Mick) It’s ironic. Audrey’s demon was in prison and she never felt safe. The police never found the woman who took me, but somehow I always felt safe.

Mick: (Voice over) A lot of those lost souls took Shepherd's call for blood seriously. Family values at its worst.

Mick: (Voice over) When most guys have house guests, the check list is obvious: anything moldy in the fridge, any private magazines left out….. For me it is a little more complicated (As Mick washed out a glass he used to drink blood)

Mick: (Voice over) The priest converted him alright, drained him in confession and turned him in final prayer. 

Mick: (Voice over) Given the complex history of religion and vampires; a church is not where you’d expect a vamp to find sanctuary.

Mick: (voiceover) To humans, blood just smells coppery, like a jar of pennies. But to a vamp, it’s full of smells. The fear felt when it was shed...and the joy of the one who shed it.

Beth: I know who saved me when I was a little girl.
Mick: I think you've known for a while.
Beth: Maybe I have.
Mick: What else do you know?
Beth: That he had to kill a woman he cared about.
Mick: Maybe he would have done it anyway.
Beth: Maybe. But that night he did it to save me.
Mick: How was I supposed to tell you?

Beth: I just wish... I just wish he'd talk to me.
Mick: First I murder my wife, and then I stalk you. It just gets better and better huh?
Beth: No. I could have lived my life in fear. But somehow I always felt safe. Now I know why.
Mick: Now you know why it can never work.
Beth: All I know is, ever since I met you, I've stopped using the word "never".

Shepherd: (final words before his execution) Power can lead a man down a dangerous path. It can blind him to things like reason, kindness, mercy. I've had many years to think about my actions, my choices, things I've done. I don't regret a bit of it. I seek no forgiveness. Just the blood of those who crossed me...and you know who you are. I will live on...and you...will die screaming my name.

Mick: You have every right to be angry.
Beth: I'm not angry. I found my guardian angel.

Shepherd: I thought you were dead.
Mick: Looks like neither one of us is dying easy.

Shepherd: You don't seem surprised to see me alive.
Beth: I know what you are.
Shepherd: If you know what I am, why are you fighting when you should be begging?

Beth: So how do you start a manhunt for a dead man?
Mick: You clarify the dead part. 

(As Mick is leaving)
Mick: I would recommend not going into the office.
Beth: Okay
Mick: Okay… Or upstairs. Or through the grey door
Beth: Wow, this all sounds so Alice in Wonderland!
Mick: Beware of the bottles that say drink me, okay?

 

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Beth asks Mick to help her photographer friend Morgan track down her expensive cameras, which were recently stolen from her apartment. Mick is completely thrown, because Morgan is a dead ringer for his ex-wife and sire, Coraline, whom Mick killed years ago. But Mick’s vampiric sense of smell tells him that Morgan is human, so she can’t be Coraline. The case gets even more twisted when Morgan has photographs she took during a fire of a man killing a woman, a scene that replicates the way in which Mick killed Coraline. As he investigates the case of the missing cameras and the murder, Mick is also trying to figure out whether Morgan is really Coraline and how she might have "cured" herself from being a vampire. Beth is reluctant to admit it, even to herself, but she gets a little jealous over Mick’s obvious fascination with the alluring Morgan. Mick tries to expose Morgan as Coraline, but finally comes to believe, reluctantly, that Morgan is a doppleganger, not the real thing. The deciding factor: Coraline had a fleur de lis tattooed on her shoulder, but Morgan’s shoulder is unmarked. Later, alone in her loft, Morgan takes a shower and carefully scrubs away the heavy makeup that has been covering her shoulder tattoo: it’s a fleur de lis. Though he doesn’t yet know it, Mick was right all along: Morgan is really Coraline. Original Air Date: 9 November 2007

Mick: (voiceover) One thing you learn when you live forever is not to get too set in anything… Cause it is all going to change. Just when it seems like everything is going your way and maybe you’ve been patting yourself on the back… That’s when it happens.

Josef: Coraline drove you crazy the whole time that you knew her and now she’s dead and she’s still driving you crazy. You need to let her go.

Josef: Mick, look at me… Coraline did not come back from the undead to exact revenge on you.
Mick: You know how dangerous she was.
Josef: Yeah… I’ve known her for a century more than you. And she’s capable of anything but not even she could pull off a resurrection.

Beth: Hey, I’m sorry to stop by without calling, but since you are a night person. I thought you might be up.
Mick: Well, you know me too well. 

Mick: (Voiceover) The longer you live, the more surprises you get. You’d think you would come to expect the unexpected, but you don’t.

Josef: (To Mick) One of these days you are going to have to stop hating what you are.

(Mick jumps on the roof of a house)
Mick: Come on!
Josef: Why don't you just let me in the door?
Mick: Shhhh!
Josef: Can't we hire someone to do this?

Josef: So, where are we again? City of Palmdale?
Mick: Next time I'll try to find a Beverly Hills thief!

Josef: And...did Beth recognize this Coraline?
Mick: No!
Josef: Well, if it really was the woman who kidnapped her as a child, I think that Beth would have a few opinions about it.
Mick: Beth doesn't remember me from back then, and I'm the one who rescued her! What do you remember from when you were four?
Josef: It was 1603, Mick, it's reasonable it would be a little hazy!

Mick: I saw Coraline last night.
Josef: Coraline? You mean Coraline... Coraline.
Mick: Yeah, that Coraline!
Josef: Was she dead?
Mick: No!
Josef: Then it can't be Coraline, you killed her, remember?
Mick: Yeah...I'm aware of that!

(About Coraline)
Mick: Yeah, I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.

Mick: (voice over) There is a good reason I never expected to see Coraline again. I killed her.

(Mick looks after Beth and suddenly recognizes a girl who resembles Coraline)
Mick: (voice over) At the oddest time you might find yourself feeling lucky like maybe you found somebody. And bam, that's exactly when the ex-wife shows up.

Josef: Step back, get some perspective.
Mick: Maybe you could help?
Josef: I don't do perspective.
Mick: You can help me look through our thief's house. I could use another set of eyes.....and teeth.

Beth: I'm just not used to being grilled about the girl that you're after.
Mick: I'm not after her.
Beth: I wouldn't have picked her as your type.
Mick: This isn't about types.
Beth: Even if it is, it's fine. It's your business.
Mick: You're jealous!

Beth: Do you guys know each other?
Coraline: No.
Mick: No, we just met.
Beth: So you don't know each other.
Coraline: No.
Mick: I thought we did, but I guess we don't. I'm Mick. (shakes hands with Coraline)
Coraline: Morgan. Now we know each other.

 

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After their first kiss, Mick and Beth have gone back to avoiding one another, but that’s about to change. Josef asks Mick to find Lola, a vampire with whom he’s had an on-again, off-again relationship for 100 years; meanwhile, Beth is doing a story on a model who died of a drug overdose during a photo shoot. Both investigations lead to the morgue, where Beth and Mick meet again. It’s awkward at first, but they soon realize that their cases are related: they end up working together as Josef’s “booty call” turns out to be the drug dealer, who has been killing other vampires to drain their blood and selling it to humans as a drug. The vamp blood makes a human feel a bit like a vampire, powerful and sexy, but it can easily lead to fatal overdose. Curious, Beth tries the drug and, under its influence, tries to seduce Mick. Mick is very tempted, but he knows she isn’t herself; it takes all his strength to resist her. Later, when Beth learns that Josh and the police are about to raid the warehouse where Lola’s crew cooks up the drug, she tips Mick off. He manages to beat Josh to the punch, blowing up Lola and her operation before the cops nab her and discover that she’s a vampire. Original Air Date: 2 November 2007

 

 
 

Mick has been successfully avoiding Beth ever since he was forced to take her blood to revive him in the desert. Fate steps in, however: their paths cross when Mick takes a case to find a young woman, and Beth has a story about a possible serial killer who has relocated to Los Angeles. Despite the initial awkwardness, the two agree to work together when they realize that the serial killer’s next targeting is the young woman Mick is searching for. The killer turns out to be a teenage vampire: though he's 200 years old, he's trapped forever as a teenager and has channeled his perpetual adolescent rage into killing prostitutes. Beth and Mick are able to save the young woman just before the vamp dispatches her, but the vamp escapes. Feeling compassion for the vamp, but still determined to stop him, Mick gives chase. Once they meet in an amusement park and launch into a fangs-out battle, the teenage vampire proves to be incredibly strong and almost gets the better of Mick. Just as Mick is about to succumb, fate intervenes again, and the killer is decapitated by a passing roller coaster car. Later, when Beth encounters Mick as he tries to slip away unnoticed, they kiss.  Original Air Date: 26 October 2007

 

(about pretending to be Jassmyn.)
Beth: What am I supposed to say? I've never spoken to a serial killer before.
Josef: Well, you know. Be polite. Please, thank you. 

Mick: (voice over) Maybe it's the sum of a million coincidences we don't quite control that brings us to a particular place at a particular time, or maybe it's the choices we make, the actions we take. If there's one thing I've learned in 85 years, it's that what we want doesn't always matter. (Mick and Beth kiss.) What we want doesn't always matter, but then again, sometimes it's all that does.

Beth: So your friends are they .. ahm
Mick: What?
Beth: You know...
Mick: Vampires? You can't tell, can you? Scary.

Beth: What are you doing here?
Mick: Same thing. Blood……work, blood work.

Mick: He's a kid, maybe 16 years old.
Beth: Sixteen?
Mick: Well, going on 200. I saw a picture.
Beth: Ugh, awkward age.

Josef: So your reporter friend. Uh, what's her name?
Mick: You know her name.
Josef: Yeah, but... right. So how's it going since, uh, happy hour?

Josh: Or better yet come by tomorrow night. We're having a few friends over to celebrate one year together.
Beth: Oh, I don't think... Mick doesn't wanna...
Mick: No I would, want to, uh, but I can't. 

Beth: You know, I left you a message.
Mick: (voice over) Actually, she left four (voice over ends). I must have missed that somehow.

Beth: So how does it work, anyway?
Mick: What?
Beth: Just, you know, the sex thing.
Mick: Your parents never told you?

Mick: I just don't think we need to make this into a big deal.
Beth: It is a big deal. I fed you! You were dying out there and I brought you back to life with my blood. With my blood!

Mick: (voice over) If I've learned anything in 85 years it's that what we want, doesn't really matter. You can want to get from here to there. You can want to be on time. You can want to avoid someone for their own good, say because you drank their blood out in the desert. But if the universe wants something different, you can run but you can't hide. (runs into Beth and Josh)

 

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Beth's boyfriend Josh is prosecuting powerful arms dealer Amir Fayed for murder, but because of a leak in his department, Josh’s star witness, Leni Hayes, is in serious danger. When Fayed’s hit man raids the safe house where Leni has been hiding, she flees to the desert, and Josh enlists Mick to locate and protect her. Mick finds Leni in the desert just before the hit man arrives, but to evade the killer, the pair must flee into the desert, where they get stranded. The blazing desert sun takes its toll on Mick, who grows progressively weaker. They hole up in an abandoned motel, and Mick persuades Leni to call Beth. Realizing that Mick has had prolonged exposure to sunlight and is near death, Beth rushes to his side and, overcoming her fear, allows him to feed off her just long enough to restore his life force. Leni returns to testify, and Fayed is convicted.   Original Air Date: 19 October 2007
 

Beth: So how long can you stay outside? Like how much sun is too much?
Mick: Any is too much.
Beth: You're a delicate flower Mick St. John.

Leni: We have to get you a hospital, this is not just regular dehydration. Something is seriously wrong!
Mick: No hospitals. Just keep trying to get a signal. Call the number I gave you. Ask for Beth. Just talk to her, only Beth.
Leni: Who is she?
Mick: I trust her.
Leni: Hey, is she your girlfriend?
Mick: No. (pause) It’s complicated.

Mick: (in reference to Beth) Maybe it was her blood in my veins that made me feel her, the beating of her very-living heart. Or maybe, we’ve always been connected. Either way, being near me puts her in danger. So it has to stop. 

Mick: You’re probably wondering how someone like me ends up near death in no star motel hell.

Mick: Blood is life for vamps and humans alike. It warms us and thrills us; helps us heal. But vampires will always be jealous of the living-- like renters versus owners— You can make your own blood. We’ve got to beg, borrow and work it into the budget.

Mick: (voice over) Vampire survival instincts are simple. If you're dying, you need blood.

Mick: (voice over) When I get thirsty, I start to see blood everywhere. Even the damn tomato juice made me think that maybe I'd found a vamp-friendly vending machine.

Mick: Okay, tell me about your witness.
Josh: This means, you'll do it?
Mick: No, it means, I'll listen.

Josh: Your confidence in me is overwhelming.
Beth: I think I was overcompensating with the dry and factual. I was afraid I'd start babbling about how hot you are.
Josh: Uh-huh.
Beth: So what do you have cooked up for Monday?
Josh: What are you talking about?
Beth: Please. All the late night calls, the cat-that-ate-the-canary smile.
Josh: Maybe, I'm cheating on you.
Beth: Who would cheat ... on this?
(Beth points to her body)
Josh: Good point. (they smile and kiss)

Mick: You had to piss off an arms dealer, didn't you?

Beth: (offering herself to Mick) You need blood.
Mick: No, not yours! Not like this!
Beth: I want to do this.

Mick: What do you do when the one thing you need to save your life is the one thing that would make life unbearable?

Beth: Ya know, hunting with you is kinda fun.
Mick: Yeah, it's a thrill ride that never ends.

 

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Now that she knows he’s a vampire, things are tense between Mick and Beth. Beth works hard to wrap her mind around this new information about her friend. The two team up to find a killer who turns out to be a newly turned vampire, a newbie who hasn't been taught how to understand or to handle his urges and is in a killing rage. As they race to find the newbie, they also encounter his sire, the vampire who turned him and didn’t stick around to train him. Finally, Mick reveals to Beth how one becomes a vampire and tells her the sad story of how he was turned by his new bride, now ex-wife, Coraline.   Original Air Date: 12 October 2007

 

Convicted killer Lee Jay Spalding is released from prison after serving 25 years for murdering his girlfriend. Mick is furious, not only because he knows Spalding isn't the reformed man he pretends to be, but also because Mick feels responsible: he was supposed to protect the woman Spalding killed, and he didn't take the responsibility seriously enough. Spalding also knows Mick is a vampire and will undoubtedly be out to get him. Further complicating Spalding's release is that Beth's good friend Julia has written a book portraying him as a great man and implicating Mick. Mick's worst fears come true and he, along with Beth, must rescue Julia. In the end, Beth learns that Mick is a vampire.  Original Air Date: 5 October 2007

(Mick drinks blood.)
Beth: I keep dreaming about you. Tell me why.
Mick: Please don't look at me.
Beth: (seeing Mick's vampiric state) Oh my God. What are you?
Mick: I'm a vampire.

Beth: What did he mean, "I know what you are"? Mick, what did he mean?
Mick: I don't know.
Beth: I don't believe you.
Mick: How about we get Julia first?
Beth: How about you finally answer a question without evading or disappearing?
Mick: Hour's almost up.
Beth: Like that.
Mick: We all have secrets, Beth, and that's not evading.

Beth: Why did you run? Why didn't you stay there and tell the police what happened?
Mick: (thinking) Because I'm a vampire. Because I'm a vampire. Because I'm ... there's no good way to say it. (finally out loud) I guess I panicked.

Josef: You absolutely gotta waste this guy.
Mick: It's not that simple.
Josef: Yeah it is ... and what if he decides to go all Van Helsing and come after you?

Josef: Look, humans don't properly know how to deal with their bad guys. What else is new? You want to take matters into your own hands. Come on I got a few hours to kill.

Mick: (voice over; about Beth) Holding her in my arms it almost seems like it could work between us, but monsters don't get happily ever after. 

Josh: (To Beth about Mick) You know since you met that guy, screwed up is starting to seem normal.

Mick: Lee Jay knows what I am.
Josef: Wow, you really did mess up.

Mick: (to Beth after she saved him by shooting Lee Jay) I thought I told you to stay in the car.

Lee Jay: I gotta admit that part of me wonders what it would be like ... to live forever ... powerful.
Mick: The last thing this world needs is an eternal you. 

Lee Jay: (while shooting at Mick) Silver buckshot. I had to special order it. Now correct me if I'm wrong but, uh, silver's like poison to you. The only thing more deadly to a vampire is (picks up a flamethrower) ... fire.

Beth: You tried to warn me Julia was in danger.
Mick: Yeah, well, none of us want to believe that there's monsters like Lee Jay right around us.
Beth: You did?

Mick: (voiceover) I know I said my image couldn't be captured but that was back in the days of silver emulsion and film. Digital has changed all that.

Josef: A prison is not the vampire's friend.
Mick: No. No.
Josef: But look at the positive side. You know, in 25 years, you could probably get a book deal.

Mick: You might have all these people fooled but I know what you are.
Lee Jay: Oh, what am I?
Mick: You're not gonna get away with it this time.
Lee Jay: Oh, I know, I know. They say they've gotten tough on crime. They always say that.
Mick: No. I meant, you're not gonna be hurting any more women. I won't let you.
Lee Jay: You know, it's funny because I know what you are ... vampire.
You've probably killed more people than I, haven't you?

Josef: Oh, is it your friend … the blond? I'd like to meet her someday. (Mick looks frightened at him) What? I'm just saying.

Mick: Never underestimate the stupidity of what humans will do.
Josef: Hey, cut 'em some slack. I believe you used to be one before you became a vampire.

Beth: Do you have any idea how hard it is to come up with a gift that says "Thanks for saving me from a psycho serial killer"? 

Beth: Why does the girl always have to wait in the car?

Mick: If I hadn't become a vampire, I would have missed out on the Internet, TiVo, World of Warcraft, and GPS.

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At the crime scene of a murdered college student, Mick St. John meets internet reporter Beth Turner. Though two puncture wounds to the neck make it appear that the young coed was killed by vampires, Mick knows that this wasn’t the case, because he detects no smell of vampire on her. Together, Mick and Beth find the girl's professor, a self-proclaimed vampire who uses his knowledge of vampire lore to seduce college coeds. A second killing brings them no closer to an answer. Beth goes undercover to see what else she can find out about the enigmatic professor, and finds herself in danger. Fortunately, Mick comes to her rescue, using his vampire strength to overcome the true villain.

As the story unfolds, we discover that Mick has met Beth before: he saved her when she was a child. Beth has no idea, but he has been keeping an eye on her, and now that she's in the public eye as a reporter, he is increasingly concerned for her safety.
Original Air Date: 28 September 2007
 

(Steve is pinning a mic onto Beth's bra)
Beth: You're taking a long time putting that mic on. 

Mick: Right. Blood cult. So, we're talking vampires?
Beth: I know ... they don't exist. But something has to explain all the killing and the Goth-o-rama around here, I mean obviously she had a thing for vampires.
Mick: Yeah, I guess they're back in style. ... You know, some people actually find them attractive?
Beth: Really?
Mick: Yeah.

Mick: (to Professor Ellis) So, tell me something, professor. Do the salutary effects kick in before or after the sex with your students?

 

Mick: (voice over; about Beth) The last time I held her in my arms she was only a child. Over the years I tried to stay close, just out of sight in case she needed me, and tonight she did.

Carl: Come on, threesomes never end well.
Beth: Huh?
Carl: Don't ask. 

Beth: A girl's dead, I'm not letting this go.
Mick: You're kinda pushy, aren't you?
Beth: You'll get used to it.

Steve: What are we still doing here?
Beth: Looking for her car.
Steve: Right, and how do we know she didn't just walk?
Beth: Nobody walks in L.A.

Interviewer: What about daylight?
Mick: Daylight's not good. Daylight's not good. The longer I'm in the sun the worse I feel.
Interviewer: But you don't burst into flames?
Mick: Not if I can help it.
Interviewer: How do you kill a vampire? Wooden stake I'm guessing?
Mick: No, a wooden stake won't kill a vampire. Flame thrower will kill a vampire or we can lose our head, I mean literally, other than that we heal.

Mick: Hey, and don't forget - I'm your only friend who doesn't like you just for your money.
Josef: That's true. Sad, but true. 

Josef: Look. I know you have morals and scruples and that's fine. Sort of. But you are not the man I on occasion pretend to respect if you don't get this under control. I hear you have a soft spot for the mortal ones, a fascination with all the charming things they do while listening to the tick tick tick of their own looming demise. That's fine. That's good. Everyone needs a hobby.

Josef: So you're telling me some poser wannabe drinking blood out of a Snoop Dogg chalice is behind this? 

Josef: It's a reporter from Buzzwire, she started this whole killer vampire thing. A Beth-somebody.
Mick: Turner.
Josef: You know her?
Mick: Yeah, we did some breaking and entering together.
Josef: Well, you, my friend, must get her to stop.
Mick: What do you mean? Like she's driving along and suddenly her car explodes?
Josef: I was thinking you ask her nicely, but fielder's choice. 

(Josef talking to Mick about his blood drinking)
Josef: You're fighting a losing battle, my friend. Sooner or later your inner vampire is gonna demand to be fed.

The Professor: When most people hear the word vampire, they immediately conjure up an image of some undead monstrosity running around at night trying to drink human blood.
Mick: (to himself) I hate that. 

Mick: (voiceover) Somewhere in the city, a killer is on the loose. Josef wants me to hunt him to keep our secret safe. I just want to make sure he doesn't do it again. You don't have to be a vampire to get a taste for blood.

Mick: (voiceover) Nine out of ten murders, the killer is someone the victim knew. That's why I wasn't about to miss Kelly Foster's funeral. Too bad funerals always take place during the day.

Josef: Would you care for a liquid refreshment?
Mick: No thank you.
(a woman walks in and offers her arm to Josef)
Josef: You sure? She's delicious. 82' was a good year.
Mick: We went to the Super Bowl in 82' right? Lost a million bucks on Cincinnati that year right?
Josef: Except for that. 

(Inside Mick's loft, Josef is on the armchair, foot on the coffee table and glass of blood in his hand)
Josef: It's about time you got back!
Mick: Make yourself at home!
Josef: I did! I poured myself a drink. You seriously drink this stuff? What is it? Like not-fat, soy, vegan blood?

(inside the victim's apartment)
Mick: I'm not gonna hurt you!
Beth: You're not gonna hurt me? How do I know you're not the killer?
Mick: Well, because I'm not killing you!
Beth: Ok, if you're not the killer, and let's go with that because it's comforting, what are you doing here?

Journalist: So, you sleep in a coffin?
Mick: No, that's an old wives' tale, I sleep in a freezer! And while we're on the subject: garlic is tasty on pizza.
Journalist: Does it repel you?
Mick: It repels my dates sometimes! Toss holy water on me, I get wet. Crucifixes, okay, if you like that kind of thing. Oh, and I definitely can't turn into a bat. That'd be cool though, wouldn't it?

Journalist: So you never bite anybody?
Mick: No, no...unless they really ask for it. 

Mick: Being a vampire sucks. It's a bad joke, I know, but it's the truth.

Mick: We're on the same side.
Josef: Sorry. I'm not questioning your loyalties.
Mick: Yeah, good.
Josef: Yeah, vampire solidarity. Ra Ra Ra and all that.

Mick: (as he holds Beth) Sixty years is a long time to deny yourself the touch of another, but you do it. Because you just can't bear the thought of seeing yourself as a monster in someone else's eyes.

Mick: (about Coraline) Forever is a long time with an ex-wife like mine. 

Josef: Have you seen the news? This terrible thing in West Hollywood? It's everywhere: "Vampire Slaying Rocks LA".
Mick: Yeah, it doesn't look good for us.
Josef: It's a threat to our secrecy. What is this, the 1720's? We're discreet, we don't leave bodies lying around. Now, we have to be extra vigilant. We live in an era of fingerprint scans, DNA tests, genome mapping....
Mick: Josef, relax!
Josef: I am relaxed. This is relaxed. You're only 90. You've never been chased by a torch-bearing mob!      Hungry!

Beth: We gotta get a shot of the body.
Steve: The cops won't let anyone get close.
Beth: I'm not leaving without my money shot. Oh, my god. Did I just say that?
Steve: Yes.
Beth: I've become a news whore overnight.
Steve: Well...not overnight. 

Mick: Everyone says they're open-minded, everyone tries to accept people who are different from them. But the truth is, people don't react well when they find out that you're undead. And the other thing you've got to deal with? When you live forever, the past always catches up with you.

Josef: (watching the news) Vampire experts. Beautiful. Now we got the food mouthing off about the farmer.

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